The Right Way To Do It… Or Not.

The whole concept of my wife having a regular friends with benefits arrangement with JD has just become so routine for us.  And yes, I know they are more than just friends.  For some guys, that would be a deal breaker.  For me, I prefer there to be some commitment there. 

This life is not for everyone.  If you are a guy who has these hotwife fantasies, you really have to be careful that you may get what you ask for and then not be able to handle it. 

We’ve been doing this in some form or fashion for years, and I assure you, there have been some glitches along the way.  But now, after over thirty years of marriage, we are in a good place for this particular part of our relationship. 

Nothing is perfect.  Don’t believe those unbelievable Facebook curated perfect marriages.  You know what I mean.  The pictures are tightly cropped to show great bodies, all smiles and happy couples.  Meanwhile, they are probably sick of each other and only staying together for the kids and the mortgage payment. 

I’m not trying to suggest my wife and I are in a perfect world either.  We aren’t.  But this particular part is pretty damn good. 

I only bring it up because I don’t want people who come across this or similar blogs to point to this as the perfect way forward.  If you read the advice of hotwife lifestyle experts, you’ll see that my wife and I broke all the rules. 

First and foremost, we have been with people we know or guys I’ve worked with.  Most experts will say that presents too much risk.  What if the relationship goes bad? Now what?  Or what if the wife falls in love? 

Another rule we broke is that my wife routinely meets with JD without me being present.  Many experts say that is playing with fire.  But keep in mind, we’ve been doing this for years.  I don’t have a jealous bone in my body, so if I can’t get home from work in time, why should I stop my wife and JD from having a good time?

In terms of openness and honesty, I am a complete scoundrel.  I have this blog, a Tumblr, I have a dozen email confidants with whom I share my thoughts and issues beyond what I write here or share with my wife. 

I went on a nationally presented podcast and confessed to having a completely secret life my wife knows nothing of.

I have confided in people who know my wife, which is frankly my biggest sin.  That is to say, my wife talks to these people and has no idea that that person knows details about our sex life.  Or have seen my dick.  Or have shown me their private parts. 

To many people who engage in sexually open arrangements with their spouse, I think they’d look at us as doing everything wrong.  I’m just trying to point out to those people who read this, you have to think long and hard before you take a stab at it.  And then, you have to do it in a way that works for your relationship.  There is no real right or wrong, only what works for you.

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5 thoughts on “The Right Way To Do It… Or Not.

  1. just like in the OUtback Restaurant add…”No rules, just right!” I actually perfer not being present when she has a lover. It enhances the cuckold feeling and it certainly conveys that she is free, I mean really free to fuck who she wants when she wants. I think you and I share this but it works for us not for everyone and your advise is good!

  2. Your example shows there are as many paths as there are people. The people out there that insist that their way is the only way don't realize that each individual is the sum of their experiences and that each of us is unique. There may be some general rules of thumb and patterns of behavior that will commonly work. However, as your example shows, These are mere guidelines and not necessarily for everyone.

    Joatster

  3. I like that you , and your wife have this freedom, openness, to test each other. That you do by own , or control each other's growth. It's refreshing.
    I like my private sale.

  4. The only thing I would caution you on is the confession/discussion of your secrets with people that know your wife. Having the secrets is fine, but revealing them to a mutual 3rd party is playing with fire. The last thing you need is an inadvertent comment or slip up when that person is talking to your wife.

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