Well the new year has arrived and this is my first post of 2018. I hope to be at least half as productive this year. Last year it seems I posted 100 times. Damn, I must be in love with reading my own words. Or perhaps I just had a lot of stuff to say.
I probably referenced my interest in podcasts more than a time or two and am sure I made reference to Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast from time to time. I’ll continue that by telling you about the epiphany he helped me have as I was driving into work this morning.
A female caller was complaining about guys she meets on dating apps who are content to sext and chat and message her, but can’t seem to pull the trigger on actually meeting in person to do the things physically that they want to chat and talk about online.
Dan responded that guys (and some women) tend to have this inner sexual monologue that goes on all day long. As they see a person or chat with someone via one of these apps, that inner sexual monologue continues on and now, that person knowingly or not becomes a part of the subconscious discussion. If that doesn’t immediately resonate with you, then perhaps you don’t have this same inner monologue like I do.
I’ve often questioned my sanity over this. I’ve literally mentally drifted away during meetings because I’m imagining going down on the woman who is talking. I’ve ridden the elevator with a woman and immediately incorporated us into a scenario where we are trapped in the elevator and are forced to have an hours long conversation in which she describes her sex life.
The inner sexual monologue is a constant in my life. Yet, as Dan explains to the caller, often men are satisfied with the mental conversation and happy for it to stay in the brain. This is why a guy may talk a big game but put off an actual in person meeting.
It also may be an indication that the guy fears that his talking game is better than his actual physical game.
Interesting stuff. My problem is that occasionally, I allow these innocent enough personal daydreams to become verbalized with the people I’m thinking of.
It is one thing for some guy to engage in sexting with a fellow traveler on a sex app. It is a whole different thing to engage a colleague in your sexual fantasies.
We often joke about that internal filter that keeps us from saying the things on our minds. I feel like I’m usually pretty good at it. But I also find myself mentally jousting between the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.
And I guess that is why the Savage podcast has such an eye opening impact on me. Even if I occasionally lose the battle of the internal filter and open up to a co-worker about my sexual thoughts (and again, I do realize how stupid that is) it occurs to me that I’m not really prepared to go beyond describing my fantasies or maybe showing my dick.
I posted last week about stupid chat conversations I had with people. What if any of them had said, “quick, come have sex!”
Would I have had the balls to go for it? Well, obviously sometimes I do have the balls. But still, these sexual conversations I have in my mind are better left in my mind and on this blog.