91 Questions

I found this on Tumblr – not sure who wrote the questions.
1:When did you lose your virginity?

– I was 15 years old and I did it with a girl who was 19.  She was visiting the family who lived behind us and over a period of a week, she seduced me and convinced me to sneak into her bedroom window so we could do the deed.  It was quite awkward and I never actually came which surprised both of us.  But I did take the condom she provided as evidence for my friends that I had lost my virginity.  In hindsight, this girl could have been charged with something, though I assure you, I was not complaining.    

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

– Soft for me.  It’s not that I can’t get into some light spanking or things like that, but in general, I have accepted that I just can’t put myself in a place where rough sex is a turn on.  I think I need a change of mindset – my wife craves rough sex.

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

– What is unusual now that we have the Internet?  I’m a bi man who gets off on watching his wife have sex with other guys.  I like having things shoved up my butt.  I seem to be fascinated with panties – just watching a lady remove her panties is so hot to me.  Other than that, I’d say I’m pretty vanilla.  I’m a voyeur, for sure, but is that even unusual?

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

– I think most people would agree that my work related sexual trysts are pretty weird given the risk.  But aside from that, I’ve had outdoor sex, sex on hiking trails, sex on a mountain in broad daylight, all sorts of sex in cars – and have been caught.  Sex on a beach (and caught).  None of those places seem weird to me.  I guess I’ve never done it in a church or in the middle of an auditorium filled with people.

5: Favourite sex position?

– For normal sex?  Laying on my back with my wife doing most of the work.  If I could just pick something out? I love, love, love going down on a pussy while a dick is sliding in and out of it.

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

– Pass.  Someday I’ll figure it out.  Probably submissive though.

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

– Sure.

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

– Of course, all three.

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

– Yes – several.  See number 4 above.

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

– Yes.  I was probably fifteen or sixteen.  My sister had left for work so I thought I would quickly J/O while sitting on the recliner in the living room.  I had my pants around my ankles and was going to town when I heard the front door open.  I jumped up and in a single motion lifted my jeans but I’m sure it was obvious what was going on.  My sister ran in, grabbed something off the table and ran back out to go to work.  Nothing was ever said of the incident.

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

– Around a lady’s ankles.

12: How often do you have sex?

– Average about once a week these days, though certainly more than fifty-two times a year.

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

– As I scroll through Tumblr on any given day – if I only knew their names I’d be happy to list them here.  I realize the question is more geared toward wanting to know if I have a secret crush on someone I’d like to bang.  We’ll, the way my mind works, I’m in a constant mode of “Yea, that’d be nice” to just about anyone who catches my eye.  In reality, see answer 12 above.  I can only perform so much!

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

– Giving, for sure.  Yet, if you were to ask my wife, she might not believe it.  On my bi-side, I definitely prefer giving to receiving, though in honesty, some of the best head I’ve had has been from other guys. When it comes to women, I am constantly imagining myself going down on just about every women I come in contact with.  It is weird, I see a woman and have this mental evaluation of imagining what her pubic hair status is (bare, trimmed, a jungle?), and then for some reason, I look at her face and think I can discern how good her pussy will taste.  It’s all so stupid. Either way – I enjoy a good BJ as much as the next guy, but I can take it or leave it.
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

– This is easy.  When I was probably seventeen, I was banging my girlfriend when out of nowhere, I farted.  It took a few seconds to register and then all of the sudden, she busted out laughing saying, “You farted!”  I had never cut the cheese in front of her, and I guess doing it during sex was pretty terrifying and embarrassing.  Trying to claim she had produced a queef did not help.

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

– The tonight Show theme.  Hey, hey, hey, hey!

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

– The tonight Show theme.  Hey, hey, hey, hey!

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

– Cosplay?  No, not at all.  I do occasionally remove my socks just to be completely naked, though.

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

– Shower.  I’m sorry, but some of these things seem good in a novel or a movie, but in reality, the logistics often outweighs the sensuality of the scene.  And don’t ask me about the beach.  Until you’ve actually had sex at the beach and realize the wrath of sand in every nook and cranny, you have no business even fantasizing about it.

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

– If I had to narrow it down and movie stars were not an option, I’d go with this lady I work with.  She is from a middle eastern country and has this incredible accent that just turns me on.  She and I work close together and in spite of the fact that she is very professional, downplays any flirtatious behavior, she dresses to accentuate her body type which is thick but fit.  In reality, if she stared me in the eyes and spoke in her native language, she could read off her grocery list and I’d probably prematurely ejaculate in my pants.  I’ll not pursue this one, at all.  But I enjoy imagining it.

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

– Yes, yes I have.  My entire blog is about threesomes or the efforts to have threesomes.  Though I have a tremendous amount of MFM experience, I’ve never experienced FMF unless you count that time I jacked off for the entertainment of two female co-workers.

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

– Yes, all the time.  I use them on my wife and occasionally, she uses them on me!  In this day and age, I don’t know why anyone would not own at least one vibrator as a way to assist when one partner is in the mood, but the other isn’t.  We aren’t open enough to leave a huge dong sitting on the nightstand, but really, the stigma of ordering a vibe from the Internet or walking into a sex shop just isn’t there the way it was even a decade ago.  If you don’t use toys, you just don;t know what you are missing.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

– Of course.  With today’s technology, it is so easy.  The issues surrounding this sort of thing is a topic of interest for me.  I think our laws need to get it together with regards to minors taking and sending pics to each other (please note: I’m not advocating for and I detest the idea of adults receiving pics of underage people).  There is a problem though when a high school aged girl can legally fuck her high school aged boyfriend, but if she willingly takes a picture of the same pussy he just fucked and sends it to him, they can both be charged with a felony and both be required to register as sex offenders.  These laws that fail to recognize that the taboo of naked people doing what naked people do is not the same thing as the sickening act of abuse is in of itself, abusive.  Our society is ruining lives.  I also firmly believe everybody should just take one naked picture of themselves and submitted to life magazine so we can all get over being shocked when we find out that Anthony Wiener or some other politician has a dick. 

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

– Of course.

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

– I usually fall directly asleep.

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

– There are so many things but at the top of my list, unexpected views of panties.  Be it the wind blowing up a skirt to reveal them or catching some lady sitting in a way that allows a glimpse.  But there are so many other things.  Cleavage not intended to be on display.  A guy with an unexpected boner in public.  Cheaters in public places.

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

– Just this morning (and a few days ago) my wife woke me up with her hand on my morning wood.  That resulted in her riding me until we both came.  No words, both of us avoiding expelling any morning breath.  It sounds like a dream.  Honestly, I can take it or leave it.  The best sex for me is before I’m tired, therefore, I prefer late afternoon sex and especially if we have a visitor.

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

– Face.  I know this sounds like I’m trying to win feminist points, but if they hooked me up to one of those machines while I looked at porn or just walked around the grocery store, you’d find that in spite of bouncy boobs and perfect asses, I am drawn to the face.  Give me a pretty face on an out of shape girl and I’m happy.

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

– Dicks.  Preferably medium to small size.  Humongous wieners are fun to look at but for my bi-side, I prefer something much more manageable.

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

– The briefcase of sex toys.  If we let anyone stay at our house while we are on a trip, it has to go with us or be hidden someplace they won’t look.  I’m not ashamed that we have them – it’s just personal and private.

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

That’s a tough one.  Either I’ve lacked any real exciting experiences or I just haven’t found the things people have done to me to be that weird.  I will say that the first time a lady slipped her finger up my butt hole during a BJ, it was certainly unexpected, but by the way I came, I’d say there was definitely nothing weird about it.

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Yes.  As a teen, I was completely fascinated with the idea of tasting my own cum.  I would constantly take the pre-cum from the tip of my dick and taste.  In fact, I do that still when I’m jacking off.  Anyway, I would get myself all bent into position on my shoulders with my legs up over my head and my dick as close to my mouth as I could reach.  Sadly, I’m not one of those guys who was blessed with the flexibility or long enough cock to suck myself.   I would do this constantly but again and again, the moment I would cum, I’d turn my head.  I think many guys have had this same experience.  When I was dating my high school GF, I would tell her that as soon as I ejaculated, she should quickly lift her pussy onto my face.  I had the desire for cream pies at a very early age.  But just like with the jacking off thing, I’d lose interest in the taste of my own seed the moment I came.  One time, she put her knees on my shoulders and forcibly spread her cum filled pussy onto my face.  I squirmed like hell and pushed her off but not before I was covered in my own goo.  But to answer the question – yes, I’ve tasted my own jizz.  Once when I came inside my wife, we were laying in bed nude just enjoying the moment and somehow after about ten minutes I got the urge and went down on her.  I know a lot of guys who think nothing of eating a woman after they have cum, but I just have this mental block that forms after I reach orgasm.  Now eating another guy’s cum?  Sign me up.   

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: 

Yes.  I’ve had a vasectomy so I haven’t worn one in years.

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
When I was younger I did all the normal experimentation that all kids do when they get a chance to.  So whipped cream, chocolate syrup, all those things have been done.  You learn that it is a sticky mess and a lot more erotic in pictures than it is in person.  I have always wanted to violate a woman with a cucumber though.

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

I know the answer is supposed to be “Never”, but I seriously do not like to get horny if I’m already falling asleep.

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

Sure.  As long as she doesn’t sound like one of those fake porn women.

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

I’d say if you did it once a day that’d be pretty healthy.  I think if you did it so much that you were skipping having regular sex with your partner, you may have a problem.  I know some younger people prefer jacking it to porn instead of sex with a real person.  I can see how that might happen, but that’s probably too much.

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

My wife has told me that I have the most perfect looking dick she has ever seen.  She’s had bigger, smaller, thicker and longer, but she says mine is perfect.

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

What is this foreplay you speak of?

40: What do you wear to bed?

My underwear.

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

I think I was 12.  I had heard of it, but I had no idea what they were talking about.  Then one day I was in the shower making sure my hard-on was extra clean and it just happened, I came and I was hooked.

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

Yes.  And so does my wife and so do some of my readers!

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

We own a hot tub, so it happens fairly often.

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

Yes, many times.

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

Threesomes are the primary reason for my blog.

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

I’ve shoved more things in my ass than I can recall.  No light bulbs or anything like that, but when I was a kid and realized my hole gave me a great deal of pleasure when jacking off, I was pretty inventive.  Think the handle end of screw drivers and such.

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

As much as I crave the idea of a threesome with two women, I’m not as turned on by lesbian porn.  I do enjoy gay porn – mostly guys giving guys BJ’s.  I have to admit, I am somewhat picky.  Like straight porn, I’m not a fan of supermodel looking guys in gay porn.  Give me an older guy in a suit with a younger man and I can get off on that.  I also strangely enough like watching older (like dudes in their 70’s) going at it.  I just imagine myself at an old folks home when I’m old and just walking around blowing the other residents.

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)
I’m turned on by giving blow jobs and I crave going down on random women I see at the grocery store.  Yet, my wife wishes I would do it more with her.

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

I love looking at people’s tattoos even though I don’t have any. My wife has three.  I don’t like anything on the face or neck and I prefer really well done, colorful tats. If it is a permanent thing, spend some money and get it done by a good artist.

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

That’s a big responsibility.  I’ve never fucked a virgin but I did break a virgins hymen with my finger.  I had no idea she had not been fingered before.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?


52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

I support both.  I think I’d be a horrible failure at both.  I think it would be cool to get paid for pleasuring someone though, just to experience it.  I have a close friend who makes money working as an escort.  Hearing her tell stories about it makes the whole concept depressing.  The men she has as clients have money to burn, and they leave satisfied and she leaves paid.  

53: Do you watch porn?

I dabble.  My preferences is reading blogs and I enjoy it when the bloggers I follow include pics.  I also spend some time with Tumblr scrolling rapidly through pictures of naked people and the occasional 15 second clip of someone blowing someone.  I’m not the type to sit down and watch a porn movie.

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Yes and often.  Have you read this blog?  Bi, threesomes, voyeur, creeper.  I have quite a few bases covered in the freak department.

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

Not really.  On a dare or something, no hesitation but in general, I like that my undies keep me in place.  I may not have a huge wiener, but I like it to stay comfortably in place when I’m at work.

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

No.  I prefer neatly trimmed, but pubes aren’t going to gross me out.

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

Yes.  In fact, I’d never leave the house.

58: Booty or Boobs?

Boobs catch everyone’s attention for sure, but I find myself staring at asses more often.

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

Yes. That’s just who I am.  

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

If I was good looking I’d flaunt it.  I’d do a lot of flirting and teasing.  But the man in me says I’d go to place women are allowed to go.  Female locker rooms, female restrooms, you know, the things guys wish we had x-ray vision for.  I’d find some females and ask them a bunch of sex questions just see what they say.  You know, I’d go all Mrs. Doubtfire on them.  Ultimately, after I got my feel of being a voyeur with a golden key, I find some poor old sap like myself and I’d let him fuck me. Then I’d blog about it all.

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?


62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

Oh, yes.  Two ladies I worked with watched me.  Good times.

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

Yes.  I used to get off on having a boner visible through my slacks.  I still do, if I’m being truthful.  I’ve used the boner trick trying to flirt with women.  It can produce a giggle.

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

I don’t J/O as much these days but if I have time alone, I’ll look at some pleasurable pics and slowly fondle my junk.  Then, when I find just the right imagery, I’ll lean back in my chair, pull my shorts down and quickly release.  If I am in a time crunch and in the shower, I usually use shampoo as a lube.  I’ll stroke my shaft and probe my anus until I shoot all over the shower wall.

65. What is your bra/penis size?

Average.  My dick is just under 6″ fully erect.    

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

When I was about 17 or 18, I took a block of wood and whittled it into a phallic shape.  I took it with me into some nearby woods and proceeded to fuck myself while jacking off.  That was not very pleasurable at all considering I had no lube.  When I came, I pulled it out and just left it there on the ground.  I can only assume someone stumbled upon it and got a laugh.  I’ve also used screwdriver handles, pens (never borrow anyone’s pen), and other things nearby.

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

Two weeks ago? Not sure.

68. When was the last time you had sex?

Sunday morning (writing this on Tuesday).

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

This morning.  I have Tumblr up in another window but was more interested in answering these questions – for you!

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

I’ve purchased several.  I think the last one was a penis ring stimulation tool.  More people need to get over themselves and buy sex toys.

71. Guys:Circumsized?


72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

That part between my balls and my butt.  Or is that a genital part?

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Naturally my dick and balls and anus.

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

I’m not sure what that means.  I have sent messages to people on Tumblr and I assume they don’t know who I am.

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

Can’t recall.

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

I had a dream in probably Junior High school and I used to always sleep with the radio on.  I guess Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” was playing so that song infiltrated my dream.  This girl that I had been crushing on for years lived a few houses down and in that dream, she was finally letting me kiss her and more.  Oh, it was a beautiful sticky mess.  That song always takes me back to that time.

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

In the right circumstances, I’d have sex with probably any of my friends.  Being Bi sort of opens up your options.  

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

I know it seems like I’d have the same answer as above, but I guess this gives me an opportunity to talk about one of my favorite topics – TV shows I spend too much time watching.  A few from last night:  I love that the wife on The Americans seems to enjoy the nude scenes in that show.  Any chance to show her perfect bare ass, she is in.  She’s one.  We’ve also been watching that show, Detour. I’ve found Natalie Zea attractive since I first saw her in Justified. There is a funny new show called The American Housewife with actress Katie Mixon. I love her voice and the expressions she makes on her face.  Another one, I don’t care if she is just too pretty to be normal, I love Kelly Cuoco from Big Bang.
There are several actresses from TV shows that have smaller roles I enjoy.  From the Dallas remake and more recently, the TV show version of Lethal Weapon, Jordana Brewster really works for me. I also really liked the wife of Brody, Morena Baccarin who is also in Gotham (and has been in so many other shows – like Firefly). Speaking of Homeland.  No, aside from that opening scene in season one where she pulls down her panties and gives herself a whore-bath, I cannot be interested in Claire Danes because she always looks like she is about to cry.  There are just so many more.  Can I get into local news?  I love the following in no particular order: Sarah Lucero, Delaine Mathieu and Karen Grace.  And that’s enough TV for me, for now.  Jesus, I hope these people don’t have vanity searches and find out they made my list.  I doubt they’d be flattered.

80. Favorite sexual position? 

Honestly?  On my back.

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

That could be fun.  never tried it.

82. Are you into any BDSM?

Technically, my kink falls into the BDSM realm.  I’m certainly interested in understanding the mechanics of BDSM as a thing, and as a way for people to push thier limits, but if you think of a traditional dungeon or a guy in a gimp outfit, handcuffs and masks and such?  Not really.

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

Go back and read #79.  

84. Do you like dirty talk?

Not really my thing.  I prefer frank discussions about dirty things, not with the intent to sexualize it, though I enjoy if that discussion does get a little hot and heavy.  This is why I’m not really good at sexting or sexual phone calls.  I’m just not into it.  Yet I’d be happy to trade explicit details of something that actually took place.  I do like how Dan Savage has created an easy guide to dirty talk for those who think they can’t do it.  Simply tell the person what you are going to do to them.  Then tell them what you are doing to them.  Then tell them what you did to them.  “I’m going to fuck you.  I’m fucking you. I just fucked you!”  That’s step one to dirty talk.

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

Quiet until that tiny whimper when I’m about to cum.

86. Have you ever been interrupted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

Yes to both.  Kid walked in on us during sex once.  That left me scarred for years.  My older sister busted me whacking off. We don’t discuss it.
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Pics of real people. I’ll take a frumpy housewife with saggy boobs who is just trying to be sexy self over an airbrushed model any day.  I don’t care for produced porn movies, though I’m good with short clips of real people doing naughty things.

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

Yes – many times.  Strangely, I haven’t been slapped or fired.

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

Isn’t that the reason most people do it?  Or maybe I misunderstood.

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

Yes.  If you still keep in contact, is it really a one night stand?

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

Yes.  Yes, I’d think so.