The Right Way To Do It… Or Not.

The whole concept of my wife having a regular friends with benefits arrangement with JD has just become so routine for us.  And yes, I know they are more than just friends.  For some guys, that would be a deal breaker.  For me, I prefer there to be some commitment there. 

This life is not for everyone.  If you are a guy who has these hotwife fantasies, you really have to be careful that you may get what you ask for and then not be able to handle it. 

We’ve been doing this in some form or fashion for years, and I assure you, there have been some glitches along the way.  But now, after over thirty years of marriage, we are in a good place for this particular part of our relationship. 

Nothing is perfect.  Don’t believe those unbelievable Facebook curated perfect marriages.  You know what I mean.  The pictures are tightly cropped to show great bodies, all smiles and happy couples.  Meanwhile, they are probably sick of each other and only staying together for the kids and the mortgage payment. 

I’m not trying to suggest my wife and I are in a perfect world either.  We aren’t.  But this particular part is pretty damn good. 

I only bring it up because I don’t want people who come across this or similar blogs to point to this as the perfect way forward.  If you read the advice of hotwife lifestyle experts, you’ll see that my wife and I broke all the rules. 

First and foremost, we have been with people we know or guys I’ve worked with.  Most experts will say that presents too much risk.  What if the relationship goes bad? Now what?  Or what if the wife falls in love? 

Another rule we broke is that my wife routinely meets with JD without me being present.  Many experts say that is playing with fire.  But keep in mind, we’ve been doing this for years.  I don’t have a jealous bone in my body, so if I can’t get home from work in time, why should I stop my wife and JD from having a good time?

In terms of openness and honesty, I am a complete scoundrel.  I have this blog, a Tumblr, I have a dozen email confidants with whom I share my thoughts and issues beyond what I write here or share with my wife. 

I went on a nationally presented podcast and confessed to having a completely secret life my wife knows nothing of.

I have confided in people who know my wife, which is frankly my biggest sin.  That is to say, my wife talks to these people and has no idea that that person knows details about our sex life.  Or have seen my dick.  Or have shown me their private parts. 

To many people who engage in sexually open arrangements with their spouse, I think they’d look at us as doing everything wrong.  I’m just trying to point out to those people who read this, you have to think long and hard before you take a stab at it.  And then, you have to do it in a way that works for your relationship.  There is no real right or wrong, only what works for you.

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She Confesses…

It has been quite a week.  I mentioned that Mrs. JD had found some evidence on JD’s phone that made it pretty clear something was going on.  That led to an apology note from my wife to her and at least for now, that has put the matter to rest.

Smartly, JD ceased all communications via his phone.  This is what you would naturally do when you know your wife is on to your little shenanigans.  It did not help at all that the computer network people at work have somehow blocked us all from checking our Gmail accounts.  Fuckers.  The end result was, by Tuesday, my wife was dipping into a depression from simply not knowing.  Her immediate fear was that the relationship between JD and her was over.  I think she was too afraid to tell me just how upset she was over it, but it was pretty obvious.

Needing to open up to someone, she turned to our friend Emma.  Yes, by Tuesday afternoon, Emma was messaging me telling me that my wife had opened up to her.  The two of them traded details of their boyfriends, the incident with Mrs JD and more.  In a way, I was truly relived that there was someone for her to share this with.

Wednesday, we went to dinner and I just told my wife it was clear that she was depressed and missing JD.  She admitted she was a little down.  She simply didn’t want what the three of us were engaged in to end.  I told her that JD contacted me through our work mail and wanted to meet with me Thursday after work.  This actually sent her into a panic.  Maybe he was going to say he was ending everything.  Maybe Mrs. JD wanted to make it a foursome!

The Thursday meeting with JD went exactly as I suspected it would.  He told me the details of how he got busted, how it was just an shitty mistake on his part and how he had to surrender the pass code to his phone and to his e-mail and FB account (obviously, she did not know about his secret G-Mail account).  We both agreed that the communications between he and my wife had become a little too casual, especially given the line of work he and I are both in.  In his defense, he said there was excitement in doing all the sexting and such right under his wife’s nose.  I guess that backfired.

In the end, his plan was to ride this out, come up with a new e-mail account that he could access from work, and then, when possible, meet with us/her as he can.  He apologized for letting this all happen and I just explained that it was a risk we’ve all taken.

When I left and headed home, I called my wife to let her know of what took place.  She asked if we could do dinner at our local pub and of course, I was game. We had a beer and some pizza then headed home to have afternoon sex.  Unlike our normal utility sex, this went on for over an hour.  Yes, readers, my dick can on occasion stay hard for an hour.  Granted, it was more like that Mormon style Soaking (look it up).  We mostly talked as we fucked and this was when she confessed that she had been talking with our friend Emma.

And as Emma had informed me earlier (by the way, feeling creepy being in the middle of the conversation) my wife told me about how she realizes she is Polyamorous and that she feels good about being able to know that she is not the only wife out there who is happy to be married while having a boyfriend at the same time.

She was shocked that I knew what Polyamory was and I pointed out that all those sex podcasts I listened to were actually informative, not just about sex.  I think I may find a paperback version of Insatiable Wives to give her.

We’ll see how this all plays out.  Our conversations with Emma, her ability to hang on while JD works out his problems with Mrs. JD.  And who knows, perhaps my wife opens up to even more fun.